When I look back
at all the things i’ve ever achieved in my life. I’ve realized that while the
process towards getting there was straight forward, what was most evident was
the fact that there were also emotional and external implications that were
always there that made it difficult for me to succeed.
It was a constant
battle not only with myself, but also a battle with the people around me and my
external conditions that I had to deal with at the time.
All the
self-doubt, the motivation issues of taking action and the ups and downs having
experienced failure towards becoming successful. Further fuel to the fire was
added when people around me would doubt in my ability to do it, not because
they didn’t want to see me change but because they felt uncomfortable with the
prospect of seeing me change.
Your closest
friends and family will not want to see you change because they are with you on
the premise of who you are at the present moment.
Your journey
towards success will never be easy because of it, which many people opt out of
having seen at first hand how its like. And the ones that stick with it, often
find it difficult to maintain the connections they currently have.
At that point,
you’re then left with a choice, which is very difficult to make and have to
weigh up whether what you want is worth more than the lifestyle you currently
have.
Most of the time,
this is an easy decision to make since most people decide to change due to not
being satisfied with their current lives.
However, there are
other times where you might love the friends and family you have and would love
to take them with you towards your goals, but may need to cut them out of your
life due to not liking the direction you’re going. No matter how positive it
may seem.
What then?
What I realized is
that there is no easy solution and will have to be prepared for the inevitable
decisions, which you’ll have to make.
It will also set
you up for getting over the negative feedback you’re receiving from your
environment and realign you towards you goals.
Here are 2
questions I always ask myself that has always helped me succeed:
1) Is my life having achieved my goals going to be more valuable in the
long term than what’s currently provided for me right now by my friends and
family?
If your friends and
family are keeping you from making your dreams and visions come true and
stopping you from finding happiness in your life. Don’t feel guilty of cutting
them out of your life or even limiting contact with them.
Everyone has a
different path to follow that is unique to them, which generally doesn’t
involve anyone else’s happiness and satisfaction besides your own. It’s a sad
and often difficult thing to accept but the sooner you do, the easier your
journey towards success and achievement actually becomes.
2) Are my goals really what I truly want, or is it for validation?
Regardless of what
your circumstances are, its vital that you sit down and question why your goals
are what they are and whether they’re coming from a place of genuine
achievement or for validation.
If it’s the
latter, then your friends and family may have a point in feeling the way
they’re feeling and may even provide you with all the validation you need,
realising that who you actually are is enough and don’t need to prove anyone
anything as far as worthiness is concerned.
The issue then
will not be due to lack, but in your ability to communicate your attractive
qualities to the people who may not know you, and will simply have to improve
the way your sell yourself.
Once you’ve asked
yourself both of these questions and given yourself an honest answer to both of
them, you’ll then have a better idea of where you stand and (depending on your
answers) what you now need to now do to take action.
The journey to
success is never easy, but well worth the struggle.
Onder Hassan is
the owner and publisher of Dawn of Change. A self-confidence blog, using case studies and real world experiences
to document his progress. He is also the author of How To Cure Social
Anxiety: An Alternative Guide. Sign up for his FREE YOU 2.0 course for a simple strategy to overcoming your fears
to help take you to the next level. He can be found on Google+
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